Tuesday, 24 June 2014

Parliamo Berraragerra

So veteran Scots actor and comedian Stanley Baxter has, surprise surprise, come out against independence. I'm a big fan of his and, as noted elsewhere on Wings Over Scotland, he left Scotland 55 years ago but at least he is honest enough to state his reason as:
AhmawrightJack  - "I'm very happy in London. South of the border's been very good to me. I could never have achieved that success north of the border if I'd stuck there. It wouldn't have happened."
Younger readers may be wondering what I'm wittering about. Well, here's an original Stanley Baxter Parliamo Glasgow sketch, Upatra Burdz:


Strangely, in common with just about every other Sleb who has come out for Berraragerra: Baxter, like Izzard, Barrowman and the Krankies, is best known for his cross-dressing. You never know, on the night before the referendum we may be treated to Blair MacDougall in drag doing an impression of Velvet Brown with his Tuba?


Anyway, I digress. I thought it might be fun to examine some of Berraragerra's Bullshit Bingo phrases and memes and see what they mean in the Queen's English. So here we go:

Parliamo Berraragerra - Speaking Better Together

Bayonetrawoonded - Bayonet the Wounded - Ian Davidson MP's post-indyref reconciliation plan if there's a No vote.

Bestybothwurldz - The Best of Both Worlds.  The process whereby ever-increasing Scots taxes subsidise the UK, but Scots are allowed to decide how to spend their ever-diminishing pocket money on domestic issues such has health and law and order.

Flippinhoosiesferexpenses - Flipping houses for expenses.  The favourite pastime of the Berraragerra Chairman.

Forriner - Foreigner. A derogatory terms for your sibling / parent / child /cousin who lives in England if Scotland votes yes. Previously loved, you will now be automatically consumed with xenophobic hatred for them. Strangely, you may continue to love rellies in other countries such as Australia or the USA etc, as these are never considered real forriners.

Jamramorra - Jam Tomorrow. See Mairpooersgarranteed.

Mairpooersgarranteed - More powers guaranteed. See Jamramorra.

Oanlineabuse - Online abuse. Any utterance by a pro-indy person online. Death threats against the First Minister and his Deputy are termed Guidnacheredbanta - Good natured Banter.

Ornrymum - An ordinary mum. A female member of the Labour Shadow Cabinet.

ProudPatrioticScoat - A No voter, or at least a photographer's model in the environs of Cambridge.

Poolinansherrin - Pooling and Sharing. Often PoolinRezaursesanSherrinRisks. The process whereby Scots taxes subsidise things in the UK that Scots aren't in the least interested in and don't want, such as Crossrail, HS2, Trident, wars in assorted sandpits, etc.

TooWeeTooPooranTooStupit - Too wee, too poor and too stupid. Scottish people, also the positive case for the union.

VileSybernat - Vile Cybernat. A Scottish person with a computer and access to the internet.

YoonititwiLaber - United with Labour. Gordon Brown, the former Prime Mentalist DiznaeWantTaeBeSeenWiThaeToryBastirts.

UnanserredKweschins - Unanswered questions. Such as who will put the Bop Shoo Wap Doo-Wap in an Independent Scotland?

That concludes tonight's lesson. Do feel free to add further examples in the comments below.