Saturday, 28 September 2013

Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre to debate with Salmond

Following David Cameron's intimation yesterday that he was too feart or just couldn't be arsed to "fight with every fibre of his being" to defend the union, the UK Government and Better Together have been thrashing around trying to find an appropriate debating opponent in a head-to-head televised debate with First Minister, Alec Samond.

Their first choice, serial expenses cheat and washed-up, opposition backbencher Alistair Darling, was rejected by the First Minister on grounds too numerous to mention. However, self-styled Project Fear Chief Executive Blair MacDougall may have saved the day. 

Recalling a corporate training video made for Project Fear, he has approached The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre to replace the UK Prime Minister. "At least the Socks are Scottish." said MacDougall. He continued: "It was absolutely ludicrous to suggest that a third-generation Englishman of Scots descent should defend the union just because he happens to be the UK Prime Minister." 

The First Minister's spokesman hasn't dismissed this suggested opponent outright: "At least there's no record of The Socks having defrauded the public purse, accepted £500K from the boss of a company which paid $1M to a Serbian war criminal, failed to turn up in Parliament while drawing a full salary, allowances and expenses or taken £12,240 dinner-speaking gigs for healthcare privatisation companies." He continued: "The Socks are fairly highly respected in Scotland and therefore it may not be infra dig for the First Minister to engage with them."

Yes Scotland Chairman Denis Canavan, the actual appropriate debating opponent for Project Fear Chairman Alistair Darling, hasn't yet said whether he would be prepared to appear in the same programme as Darling. He is understood to have reservations about appearing with such an obvious Tory Sock-Puppet.

We have an exclusive clip from the training video:

The Socks demonstrate their unionist credentials: