Following a suggestion by Dick Gaughan in a comments conversation over at Wings Over Scotland in which we were lamenting the fact that the humble, but voracious Midgie had not been given due recognition in our National iconography along with the Lion Rampant and the Unicorn, and given the lamentable performance of the mainstream media in the independence referendum debate and the excellent contribution of the proud squadrons of Cybernats, I approached a local artist to design a suitable artistic tribute to the Midgie and the Cybernat.
Ladies and Gentlemen, please feel free to join the Squadron and right click and download your Proud Cybernat badge.
I also give you the Cybernat Battle Anthem, courtesy of Kenneth McKellar:
The Midgie Song
The midgies, the midgies, I’m no gonnae kid ye’s,
The midgies is really the limit,
Wi teeth like pirhanas, they drive ye bananas,
If ye let them get under yer simmit!
The Lord put the Garden of Eden on earth,
And it’s north of the Tweed, we believe,
Ay, Scotland’s the place, and the whole human race,
Started off with MacAdam and Eve!
In six days or under, he finished this wonder,
Except for the Forth and Tay Bridges,
Then always a bloke for a practical joke,
He made Scotland the home of the midgies!
Back in 1314, the proud Edward was keen,
To take Scotland into his care,
But he made a U-turn when he reached Bannockburn,
Just a few weeks before Glasgow Fair!
For the midgies let loose by King Robert the Bruce,
Straight into the English they tore,
So they ran off in tears, and for six hundred years,
They’ve been blocking the A74!
Now never forget, when the sun’s going to set,
And the midgies arise on Loch Eck,
Like the vampires you see, played by Christopher Lee,
They will give you a pain in the neck!
You can smack them and whack them; in vain you’ll attack them,
For they know every move that you make,
If you manage to kill yin, another half million,
Are ready tae come tae the wake!
Now Torquil the piper’s a giant of a man,
With a sporran as long as your arm,
And in Oban he’s known, for the sound of his drone,
And a pibroch of real highland charm!
But they’re sighing and sobbing, the ladies of Oban,
For Torquil is not what he was,
Since a midge in Glenbranter got hold of his chanter,
And carried it off in its jaws!
If there's enough interest, we can get proper badges made. Please register your interest in the comments section below if you'd like one.
And finally, while we're having fun, if you're a Twitterer you've got to have a look at @UKIPWeather with gems like this:
EXTREME WEATHER WARNING! Tonight for the first time, just about half past ten. For the first time in history it's gonna start rainin' men
— UkipWeather (@UkipWeather) January 18, 2014