This article was originally published by Newsnet Scotland on 29 April 2013.
The independence campaign is really only the second important
campaign I’ve been involved in so far in my life. The first was for the
removal of the ludicrous ban on gay people serving openly in the UK
Armed Forces. As time moves on, I’m noticing a striking similarity
between the opposition to the two campaigns.
By the 1990s, it was blindingly obvious that the internal opposition
to gay people serving openly in the Armed Forces came not from straight
colleagues, who really couldn’t care less. By far the most vocal
opposition came from high ranking, self-loathing, closet homosexuals.
There is no prison so strong as the one an inmate constructs for
himself; the thought of young, self-confident gay people serving openly
among these self-imposed prisoners was absolute anathema to them, and
not just because of the risk of their own exposure. Far from reasoned
arguments, the ridiculous notions offered in opposition bore far more
relation to the lurid fantasies of sex-starved old queens.
As the fear and (?self-) loathing emanating from Better Together gets
all the more shrill and phantasmagorical, is it just possible that they
are closet Scottish Nationalists? I purposely say Scottish
Nationalists rather than just Nationalists because we have a long
history of nations shaking off rule from Westminster. However, they
seem to have a special opprobrium reserved purely for Scottish people.
For example despite Scots being shareholders in Sterling, a position
not held by countries which have previously shaken off the yoke of
Westminster, Scots apparently are uniquely to be debarred from using the
hallowed currency. In Ireland, Sterling and Irish Pounds were freely
exchangeable on a one-for-one basis from 1922 to 1978. Despite being
independent since 1853, New Zealand used Sterling until 1933, Australia
between independence in 1901 and 1931 and South Africa until 1961. Not
to mention that the independent Guernsey, Jersey and Man all use
Sterling. What makes the Scots so singularly unworthy?
Other than the checkpoints set up to combat the troubles between 1972
and 2005, the UK has maintained an open border with Ireland since 1922.
Are the Scots so singularly dangerous, deranged and diseased that we
are to have minefields, customs posts and machine guns at Carter Bar?
Cardiac patients in Northern Ireland are to be sent to Dublin for
specialist care as a cost-saving measure as there isn’t the population
to warrant a specialist unit in Belfast. It seems Health Service
Administrators will be perfectly able to cope with this despite the cost
of care in Dublin being charged in Euros. However, the prospect of
Scottish patients travelling to an English specialist centre, or Geordie
cancer sufferers coming to the Beetson post-independence will
apparently cause so much red tape that in both England and Scotland,
every Health Service Managers’ head will explode.
Scottish Servicemen and Women exercise regularly with our Norwegian,
Danish and Dutch allies for our joint defence, but somehow this will
become impossible post-independence. The details as to why are
immaterial, because of course we will be nuked by North Korea as soon as
we step out from underneath the fantastically expensive UK Nuclear
Umbrella. Irrational though he may be, quite why Kim Jong Un should
suddenly acquire such a loathing for Scots on the other side of the
world as to nuke them, I’ll leave to the imaginations of Better
Together.
It seems that in all areas where we as Scots enjoy civilised
relations with the rest of the world, we only do so as part of the UK.
If we become independent, we will become international pariahs:
Penniless (literally), defenceless, imprisoned in our own dear little
Scotland, derided and shunned by the world.
I have only known such lurid fantasies of the horrors that will
befall us should we decide to take our open, mature and honest place in
the world once before. After all, like most gay people of my age I was
(for a thankfully short time) a closet queen once.
Are Better Together closet Scottish Nationalists? I think we should be told.
Addendum: The article attracted some favourable comments on Newsnet Scotland. My favourite was:
2013-05-03
"By far the most vocal opposition came from high ranking, self-loathing, closet homosexuals."
LoL Does the Cardinal Keith O'Brien ring any bells? ... Well no noo he disnae!
